Parking Lot Horrors

That sure as hell didn't take long. My door has a quarter sized ding in it, red paint free of charge. I've been parking in a new lot. I parked next to a red shitbox. I came out to my car, and surprise-surprise. The asshole must've kicked open their rear door. They didn't leave a note of course. I haven't even had my car for a month. I have a $500.00 deductible on my insurance plan, so it's not even worth reporting. Everyone I've mentioned it to, has been suggesting the most evil revenge. I don't think I can bring myself to it. I need one of these things in the picture. Ever key a car?