The Countdown

So it's been about 6 weeks since by gastric bypass and I'm still learning how to eat again. For example, this morning I made an egg *sunny side up of course* fried little cubes of ham steak and had a 1/2 slice of rye toast with strawberry preserves. I know that my eyes are now, literally, bigger than my belly. I realized I wasn't going to come near finishing my breakfast, lucky for my dog. He's getting a little pooch belly. I should walk him more. Back to the story at hand, I had the toast, 5-6 stamp-sized cubes of ham and had to call it quits. I think the toast was too dry 'cause it kept wanting to come back up. My mouth started doing that watering thing before you puke. "Dumping Syndrome" pain ain't no joke, it comes in waves/contractions. The only think I could do was walk it off, wait it out. There's nothing worse than that, "oh God, I'm gonna blow chunks... do I go outside and barf... the dog will probably find it and it eat... or do I run upstairs where other people are that can hear me hurl and cry like a little girl then ask me repeatedly if I'm okay?" I managed to keep it choked down. I walked around for a bit, pacing like a caged tiger.

Prior to surgery, they warn you about dumping syndrome. I've had it happen to me from not chewing up a piece of shrimp small enough. It got stuck in my esophageus. I've also had true dumping from eating a chilli-cheese dip I made for a potluck dinner. Potluck=bad luck. I experienced the vomitting, severe stomach cramping, profuse sweating, then the cha-cha-cha's---> all while here at work. Yah, I went home after that adventure.

Eating used to be such a joy. Now, I almost wish I didn't have to. I look at each meal like a 10 mile run. "Awe, do I have to?" I'm experiencing more and more nausea and cramping with each meal. Don't worry, I've been checked out by my surgeon and he assures me I'm okay. I get no satisfaction from eating anymore. I don't even get the satisfaction of feeling full. I go from eating one fork full to "oh my God, I'm gonna puke!" The full feeling I've been experiencing is more like a feeling of indigestion. It feels like all of my food is right on the edge of my stomach and could come back out at any given moment. It really sucks. Everyone I talked to, including the support group and meetings I had to attend, did nothing but push the "pros" on me. I wish someone had taken the time to tell me about the "cons". If I had to do over again, I don't know that I would. I would've at least taken a lot more time to think about it.

Total weight loss to date: 30 lbs